thebootydiaries:

My friend: what’re you smiling about ;)

Me: nothing

My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles

thebootydiaries:

Friend: why are you crying?

Me: I’m just so beautiful

2hunna:

mydogsnokes:

if you write in cursive i hate you

ℒℴℓ

thecommonchick:

me: watches criminal minds for 4 hours straight 

someone: knocks on my door 

me:

pokernon:

mom: *puts best selfie of me on the fridge*

godzillasflyingpizza:

i just want to introduce everyone to this niche genre of postcards

mossbug:

i wanna disconnect from all social media and go herd sheep and sell berries and mushrooms and herbal salves on the side of some mountain road for a living

anextrapart:

jugandbettsdetectiveagency:

guys… I don’t know if you know this but… if you wake up early… there’s so many more hours in the day

black–twitter:

thebootydiaries:

girl: i kinda like horses

ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE

adhighdefinition:

me, trying to accept the fact that i’m mentally ill and as a result impaired in my function: but….. i’m… probably… just lazy. a bad person. i simply need to pull myself together and that’s it